Ryan Seacrest opens the show with an acknowledgment that the show/contestants/country/world is still feeling the shockwaves after last week’s unexpected departure of Michael Johns. The audience rightfully chimes in with a healthy round of boos, but the fact remains-we have lost one of the good ones.
Tonight, one of the most consistently successful and powerful forces in pop music mentors the Final 7. Mariah Carey and her infamous 5 octave range may also be among the most detested pop icons in American history. She personifies bubblegum and is thought by some to be a straight up skank, but you have to give her credit for 160 million albums sold, and 18 #1 hits, which happens to be more than Elvis. She brought her dog to the "boot camp" that is American Idol, and I wonder what kind of drugs Mimi does, as she looks like she may be in some kind of vicodin induced haze. Maybe she's just happy.
Archuleta says that meeting Mariah Carey was ”really scary”. Word. "When you belieive” is his choice, and I have had just about enough of this little dude. He has certainly found his stride the past several weeks with these feeble yet (presumably to his fans) inspirational ballads. This song is even a duet between Whitney and Mariah? Oh lord David, why do you fancy yourself such a diva? "I don’t think were in for a lot of laughs tonight...", Simon says. I have a feeling he's right, this could be absolutely fucking brutal.
Carly the beautiful Irish lass says its been boring without MJ, who was the only contestant on the show, in my ever so humble opinion, that had the character and style and charm of Carly. Mariah loves Carly, and they agree that this is going to be fantastic. And it is. It wasn’t her greatest thing ever, but it is still great. The judges aren’t huge fans of it, with Simon even saying that he was hoping he'd get to hear Carly sing it and was disappointed.
Syesha decides to show her Mariah-range by selecting some song that Mariah wrote in her teens that I am guessing no one but diehard Mimi fans know. Leave it to Syesha to pick a bad Mariah Carey song when there were 18 number 1 hits and countless others to choose from. I am so sick of this chick. Syesha may have sparkly hair and a sparkly gold dress, but that wasn’t a very sparkly performance. Randy thinks she pulled it off and Paula thought she made a good choice with a song nobody has heard of. Simon thinks she made a huge mistake by not picking a hit. I must concur with my man Cowell.
Brooke White has a million times the sparkle of Syesha and she’s sad because she missed her sister's wedding. Shut up Brooke. Mariah calls hera "Genuine person" who "sings from the heart". Splendid. "Hero" is a simple and solid choice, played at the piano acoustically, but then she fell flat somewhere in the middle and didn’t recover, and even got a little off course on the melody. Simon pulls out the old "it’s a bit like ordering a hamburger, and then only getting the bun.” metaphor. Would that be a Brooke Whitebread pun Sir Cowell? “Wheres the beef? Asks Paula cleverly. I like my joke way better.
“Forever” is how long KLC is going to regret the decision to sing this song. "Can I give you a hug???" asks KLC after she gave Mariah Carey goosebumps. Kristi was clearly surprised that the genius behind "Glitter" would be impressed with her voice. It’s a horrendous performance. Randy thinks it was ok and Paula was blown away. "You didn’t give me chills..." Simon says in reference to Mariah's reaction to the song. Exactly.
David Cook picked "You'll Always be my Baby", which surprised Mariah, understandably. "It sounds like it could be a hit!", says Mariah Carey. We'll see about that. This is one of those big risks that could pay off big, but as soon as David Cook starts singing, it sounds like it is going to be really stale, but it picks up in the middle and earns a very rare standing ovation from Randy Jackson. I didn't think it was that great but I appreciate the risk he took and he showed again a knack for doing something different and brave. "That song could be on a movie soundtrack...it was a breath of fresh air." Says Paula "hopped up on drugs" Abdul. David Cook cant fight back tears as he hears this praise, his huge gamble paid off, and I would guess he'll be here again next week, with I suppose I have come to terms with. He doesn't bother me nearly as much a she used to.
"Interesting and different" says Mariah of Jason Castro’s version of ‘I Don’t Want to Cry” It’s really interesting and really different allright. Initially i think this is going to be a train wreck and my man Castro is in danger, but he actually did about the best he could have done with this week’s theme I think. Simon dug it and states it painfully for the ladies: "The guys completely won the night.” He is, as the judges are fond of saying, 1 million percent right.
So, i hate to keep repeating myself, but this week Syesha, Brooke and Kristi should be in the bottome three, and I would be content to see any of them leave the show.
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