American Idol - The Finale: Part 1

It's that famous announcer who says "lets get ready to rumble" introducing the two finalists, who are clad in boxer robes. They advertised this as the "showdown of showdowns" and "Double D Day", which is offensive to both America and women with large breasts, but it looks like they have settled on a boxing theme for this Finale.

Cook is in blue and Archuleta in red. They smack gloves and the battle royale begins. Big David and Little David, as Seacrest refers to them, will “go three rounds”, each singing three songs. Clive Davis and Andrew Lloyd Weber will be on hand for this first part of the finale and hopefully they will stop with the boxing analogies already.

Cook is up first and Clive Davis has picked “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. I think it actually sounds pretty good, but it also sounds suspiciously like one of those songs on the God Rock compilation commercials. “Amen, Amen” says Abdul, and Simon calls it “phenomenal”. DC looks like he just cannot believe he is here in the American Idol Finale. Not a bad start.

Clive Davis'choice for The Mighty Archuleta is “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” and he starts out in that classic perched on the stairs position, then stands and walks briskly to center stage as he delivers the well delivered climax. Randy calls it one of the best of the season, Paula is in love and Simon thinks it may have been his best ever, and gives the round to Archuleta. A strong performance by both contenders, for sure., but D Arch probably generated more enthusiasm from both the judges and audience.

Round 2 is here and this angry boxing coach offers more boxing/American Idol advice. This round is contestants choice of “new songs”. These would be the songs that won the songwriting competetion and will be whoever wins this thing's first single.

David Cook begins his song with guitar slung and I feel a little bad that Cook got stuck with this horrible song. The lights are visually offensive and the lyrics are absolutely brutal. The poor guy had no choice but to sing this hunk of junk and it did nothing to help his chances. Randy and Paula found it agreeable but Simon thought it was a “lightweight” performance. No doubt.

Archuleta’s new song is perfect for his first album entitled “Songs that will make you want to jump off a cliff”, out in time for the summer Idols tour. “This moment, nothing can take it away from me….” Goes the song, Randy wasn’t crazy about it but thinks he could sing the phone book, etc. "Fantastically self centered’ says Cowell. “Round 2 goes to Archuleta”.

Round three is contestants choice. Collective Soul’s “The World I have Known” or whatever, is David Cook's last opportunity to impress America and become the reigning champion of this competetion he accidentally entered. David cook, wait a minute- this is a song about a guy looking off the side of a building he is about to jump off but changing his mind at the last moment. I’d have to say this is a losing choice. If Archuleta does a decent job with “Imagine", David Cook comes in second place. Cook cries at the end of the song, as if he has just done something magnificent. The judges applaud it. Simon calls it “completely and utterly” the wrong song choice. I completely and utterly agree.

“Imagine” the John Lennon classic that Archuleta took the world by storm with a couple months back, is Archuleta’s final pick to wow America. A wise move indeed.

"Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man, imagine all the people, sharing for the world..." he sings. I don’t know if asking Americans to imagine a life without possessions is the way to secure tens of millions of votes, but then again Americans are pretty good about ignoring lyrics when convenient. That was a brilliant choice by Archuleta, who has now I think won this boxing match with a TKO. Randy Jackson claims that they knew all season it would come down to the two Davids, which I find hard to believe. “Stunning” says Paula, and Archuleta is on the verge of tears. Simon calls it "a knockout".

I think Cook's one good and two poor performances were no match for Archuleta’s 3 solid performances. This is what I have feared all season long, but I’m afraid it looks like it will happen. David Archuleta will be the next American Idol.

Ruben Studdard closes the show and its all but clear that he is celebrating David Cook home.