Thursday, April 19, 2007

American Idol : The Results 4/18

tonight: fergie performs, martina mcbride performs, and a special sneak peak at shrek 3. plus one of our beloved hits the road.

the top 7 perform 'im allright' i think its a terri clark song, in any case its a totally lame song, perfect for this kind of group singalong.

when did this fergie performance come to be? why was it not advertised? just who the hell does she think she is? she's not popular or qualified enough to be an idol mentor, but gets to sing on the show? she looks like a whore and acts like a cheap shakira knock-off. is this song called 'big girls don't cry?' i think big girls might cry if they have to listen to this nonsense. man that was stupid.

idol gives back is next week yo! its gonna be hot, with gwen stephani, earth wind and fire (go motown adams), il divo(not that hot), josh groban (not hot at all), jack black (funny but not hot), carrie underwood and kelly clarkson, among others of less significance. plus a mysterious pairing of two of the industry's biggest stars. i bet its gonna be michael and janet jackson-just a feeling.

bottom three tonight are sanjaya, blake and lakisha????? this is an outrage. sanjaya, of course, but the other two, thats a downright shame. "it is what it is" blake says when asked if he's surprised to be there in the bottom three. man he is smooth. simon has a huge grin on his face, he couldnt be happier to see sanjaya up there, nor could i.

after the break, sanjaya has tears in his eyes as he is forced to wait with blake and lakisha to see who's time is up. but first, a painfully long clip of the gang meeting with the dreamworks ceo and taking a tour of the shrekmakin' studios, meeting antonio bnderas, and seeing an ultra special screening of the new shrek film. fantastic, thats how you know youre a superstar, man.

martina mcbride is onstage now, and she is looker. 'god is great, but sometimes life aint good' goes her song, and hopefully that is an omen for sanjya, who is wearing a t-shirt that says 'life is beautiful'.

whew, blake is safe, and simon looks pleased. so am i. however, i feel a little uneasy for lakisha......and.....sanjaya is gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im proud to be an american...fuck yeah. his t-shirt has proven to be accurate. 38 million votes cant be wrong. i guess his lack of a wacky hairdo on last nights show was the nail in the coffin. he's hiding his face behind lakisha, and doesnt seem to be interested in letting her go as the montage of sanjyas rise to infamy begins. then, fighting back tears, sanjaya launches into one last terrible performance, this time he thinks he's clever and sings "lets give 'em somethin to talk about, other than hair." not funny dipshit. the sad thing is, he'll probably sell a million records.

peace out muthafucka.
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im superphyched for the idol gives back blowout next week.

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