Am I : The Memphis Auditions

The Tennesee city of 650,000 looks just like a ghost town, because there are so many people trying out in Memphis.


16,000 people to be precise, and our first contestant is a 21 year old male cheerleader/ cheerlearer coach, so he has some encouragemnt. he kicks it all off with 'heard it thru the grapevine'. very thespian. haha simon hated it, called it caberet. the first such declaration of the season. thank you simon, and before simon can finish, the cheerer bursts into 'unchain my heart'. yes, perfect for drama club yo, this is american idol tho. his posse outside the audition room is stunned as he tells them the judges thought he was too over the top. 'the captain of the cheerleading squad over the top?!' quips seacrest, just before the cheerleaders begin a redemptive rant. simon is annoyed like seldom before as the marching band kicks in and says 'can somebody tell him he didnt get through?!' i love that guy.


tamika simms is 16 and not very excited or exciting. 'you can call me miki, hmmm.' is about all she can conjure up in front of the camera when they give her a chance to do or say something interesting. shes not a very good singer either. can i sing another song? she asks. no says simon, then she tries again anyway. yikes. behold:



chris rivera does superstitious for us and hes pretty hilarious,and alexis the 20 year old with braces sucks as well.

'my folks were hippies' explains sundance head, 'thats where the name came from'. his dad had a #1 hit in 1965 but 'yesterday' by the beatles bumped him. sundance is married with a baby on the way, and you cant help but immediately be a cheerleader for this fella. he's big and burly and sings like a choirboygonedrinkininbluestown.
im gonna be amazed if you dont make the finals,says simon cowell.
wow, that guy can sing - randy
he just blew taylor out of the park. simon says
dude, im saying. - randy agrees -in circles.

huh? so sundance just blew taylor out of the park in circles?

word.


b.b.king elvis and al green all came from memphis, but wandera just aint in the same group as them. she is not too bad, but the judges just dont see anything special about her voice, then she freaks out outside the audition room. sweet. thats what this first part of the season is all about yo. the freak out. classic.

medly of terrible, desperate auditions follows then travis mckay brings us a song from his heart. hes gonna bring emotion to american idol for the first time. before he starts the siging or whateves he did an insane dance move, than proceeds to

danielle mcculloch, 18, of TN just wants to make them smile today, singing arethas baby i love you. cute little girl that kicks ass. randy doesnt think shes good enough and i think hes crazy. she was awesome, and simon and paula know it. we will see more of her.

'i believe that the american idol auditions are a new beginning for me,' states topher, seriously, 'i know this is where i supposedtabe in life'.
his wife left him, and now hes gonna get footloose. nope.

did that girl really just try to sing disco inferno?

sean michelle: 'everyone says i look like either osama bin laden...or jesus. or castro. or just...homeless bum...' dudes dressed in army green and guess what? this guy that does look like a castro halloween costume can really sing, and he sings johnny cashs 'gods gonna cut you down'. with a stomp and a snap and an awesome voice and it sounds pretty fucking cool, really. hes unanimously througho the next round of auditions, afte ra crack or two about how he looks like a revolutionary. viva la revolucion! but, then he does a wierd ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh supastar!!! thing molly shannon style in the confession room. this is when i am convinced its gonna be a really interesting season.

professional background singer melinda doolittle is up and shes gonna sing for 'once in my life' shes definitely got some pipes. and even a lil bit of style. i like her. 1 million percent yes says simon, one of the best auditions ever, vocally, says randy. aahh-nicze.

'i have an outstanding voice, and i have an outstanding vocal', proclaims robert lee holmes, 21 of memphis. he writes stories, sings, and dances for a living. probably not much of the singing tho because he clearly cant sing, trying to do 'im just a hunkahunka burnin love'. he looked downright sad when they told him no fucking way.

next its the obligatory memphis auditions featuring terrile elvis impersonations, and there are quite a few. hahahaha, i am SO entertained. hahahah. lmfao. hahaha
that is spectacular

homeboy had a baby today, and hes gonna sing lets get it on, but switches to my girl
and makes it through.


so we have some good prospects far, and tomorrow night we go to NYC. lovin it.