American Idol Season Premiere : part two

so we find ourselves in seattle on a rainy day.

first is another red white and blue costumed contestant. last year he sung i shot the sherriff with a police uniform on, and tonight hes doing god bless america with a uncle sam getup on.

the hotness!!!! oh my. i dont even know where to start there. eventually the judges have to yell at her to get her to stop singing. why dont you get a job down at the port? simon asks. to which she replies 'get a report as a brain surgeon and get do yourself a labotomy'. is that what she said? does that even make any sense?

now its the stay at home mom whose husband wasnt supportive becasue he didnt want to lose her to hollywood. i love when people make excuses for sounding terrible before they sing a note, then apologize when they finish singing. she has a dry throat. the label on the water bottle that quenches her is blurred out, it must not have been dasani. again a contestant refuses to stop singing until yelled at.

i dont reacll anything on tv making me laugh out loud as much as the american idol auditions. i really only like the short clips, for when we get into this mama daughter thing, misha, darwin misha who wrote a novella about a singing competition with a character based on simon, it get old quickly. dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? is the song of choice for daughter. simon flatly replies 'no'. im a stuuudent...and a wriiiter...



tommy daniels thinks am i is his elevator, and whether he has to take the stairs or use the elevator, hes gonna get to the top. surprisingly, this guy was pretty good and hes the first one to go from seattle to hollywood. his 3rd audition??


blake is a multi-instrumentalsist and vocalist/beatbox champ. can he impress the judges? seal's 'crazy' is what he does, with a lil turntable-esque vocal scrathcing. one of those guys who will not make it past the initial hollywood round, you would hope.

one of the worst days we've ever had complains simon before calling the 'lean on me guy' one of the worst of the day. haha that was pretty bad indeed.

the indian siblings: they are the smiliest people of the season so far. shymali is mighty cute and can sing too. simon says nothing unique here, but fuck ya, she is great.
her little brother sanjaya is 17 and hes 'alot better than your sister' according to simon. he is fantastic as well and they are both going to go far i bet. theyre entertaining.

the very first unchained melody of the year!! his co-workers encouraged him to try out. thats my kind of office. the judges are fucking comedic geniouses in their ability to let people go on for so long. 'one of the worst ive ever heard, almost non-human' ss. thats when the guy *officially* became my hero.



rudy sings us some journey to round out the day, and he makes it thru sans simons approval.

day 2 of seattle brings us the duo of kenneth, the nsync singer. 'you look like one of those cratures that live in the jungle with thiose massive eyes. what are they called?...bushbabies.' that was one of the best auditions ever. simon is brilliant.

his new buddy in hawaiian shirtery is johnathon and hes gonna be singing god bless america. not well. a unanimous no from the judges. rough.

tayor hicks' long lost hairdresser brother is up next, and looking (vaguely) like t-hix 'really helps with the ladies' he says. security suddenly is escorting taylor> season six out of the audition room after he advanced on simon to work on his hair.

the 6'4 texan anna belts the first aretha of the season, and although simon calls her 'loud' and 'over the top', paula and randy happily send her to hollywood. you just put through a giraffe. ss

16 year old jordan sparks. i think ill call her jspark. i like her already. she sings celine dion but i still like her. too cutesy and sugary for simon, but the others love her. i love her. she is my favorite.

steven, aka big red, is from wisconsin, and hes way cooler than carrot top. hes as good as the lead singer from queen, he remarks before launching into bohemian rapsody. the judges are all chuckling before the first line is complete. splendid.

and with that the season premiere is complete. next week, its on to memphis.

season six. its on.