Wednesday, March 14, 2007

American Idol : The Top Twelve

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oh christ this is two hours tonight?! man oh man. that is a spectacular stage they have, and seacrest tells us it'll be the home of the show for the next three months. three more months?

diana ross will help our top twelve work on a song of hers. she had over 80 top ten hits!

brandon kicks things off tonight and he's gonna do 'you cant hurry love'. he sounds pretty lame. he's just too square for me, and thats that. ill admit he can sing but he doesnt seem to have much personality to me. randy thought he sounded like a backup singer, which he is. paula said nothing intelligible one way or the other, and simon called it not good enough. he forgot the words to the song for goodnesssakes.

melinda doolittle gets a question from the at home audience. whats the hardest part of the competition, melinda? "the high heels and these dresses, i like my tennis shoes and sweatpants." what a darling.
"any advice on the high heels?" seacrest asks simon.
"you should know ryan", simon quickly quips back.
"stay out of my closet" ryan says
"come out" simon pleads
"this is about the top twelve ok, not your wishes."
i give that round to seacrest. seacrest out. way to think fast guys. those two... always with the gay jokes.

anyway what now? who? oh yeah doolittle. from the movie musical thing the wiz, 'home' is her diana ross song of choice. even tho it sounded like a musical it was good. girls one, guys zero scores randy. paula is in tears becasue shes so in love with doolittle. "you made a very boring song fantastic, you remind me of a young gladys knight", says simon.

chris sligh likens his hair to dianas in the photo shoot before singing 'endless love'. not his best performance by a long shot but he made even that sound ok. randy called him on the coldplayesque rearrangement. yes, exactly randy. paula thinks he was trying ultrahard to be ultracool and hip, and simon thinks he murdered the arrangement and he should keep his glasses on. word. he'll still be back next week. as much as i love motown, these theme weeks can be absolutely brutal and theres the first good example of it.

gina glocksen does 'love child' and diana reminds her how important pronunciation is. "you must pronunciate everything". this might be the best gina has ever sounded, even though it wasnt fantastic. judges werent really impressed but i bet shes a got a week or two left on the show.

sanjaya must have some kind of bulletproof angel gaurding him for how long he has lasted undeservingly in this competition. tonight he sings 'aint no mountain high enough'. how did this kid get this far again? this has gotta be one of the worst top twelve performances ever. that was terrible. randy: "not very good...the hair's rockin tho!" id be surprised if he makes it to next week, bulletproof angel or not.

haley gets a question from the audience. whats the craziest place you ever sang? "here. this stage", she replies. what a bore. haleys gonna sing 'missing you' which was written about marvin gaye after he was killed. interesting. i love educational television. another outrageously bad top twelve performance? wow. we'll see if jesus saves next week. randy noticed her forgetting words, i didnt. paula says she looks lovely, and forgetting the words is never a good thing to do, and your pitch... simon, inexplicably, liked it and gives haley an unexpected and unwarrented ego boost. i think hes pandering to the religous right.

phil stacey sings 'im gonna make you love me', and this may be the best vocal of the night. but, now i think i know why i dislike phil. hes like michael mcdonald for teenagers. bald teenagers. i mean i love michael mcdonald and dont have anything against bald teenagers per se, but phil just aint got the soul of a doobie brother.

lakisha is up. 'god bless the child' a billie holiday number. damn shes got some attitude. dynamite. 'sensational' says randy. 'your heart comes through when you sing' says paula and simon says 'outstanding'. fuck she is bril.

blake lewis is dressed up smoother than seacrest. what type of music do you listen to? asks an at home viewer, "underground hip hop..." replies the vocal turntablist. blake is gonna do his own rendition of 'you keep me hangin on'. wow. hes way more talented than i originally thought, but it got a little wierd at the end and there were too many flashing lights. randy and paula both thought it wouldnt kill him to let the classics be the classics. simon didnt get it, but i thought it was at least allright.

stephanie is in love with diana ross and is excited to sing 'love hangover' damn she is sultry and sounds good, but none of the judges think it was great.

chris richardson is singing 'the boss' and diana likes it very much. 'its a work the audience kind of song'. im not really sure what to make of that performance- i laughed out loud at one point but i think it ended up ok. he'll be fine for weeks.

tonights grand finale is jordin sparks. i want her to kick ass tonight, but she says shes gonna show her softer side. 'if we hold on together' from the land before time. thats the dinosaur movie right? she starts the song sitting down. i hate that. it starts slow and kinda boring but when she stood up and started moving around it got more exciting, but not much more exciting. still it was good. randy put her on par with lakisha and doolittle, and paula and simon both love her as well. nice. get em jspark.

tomorrow night diana ross will perform. also, so long sanjaya and haley.

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