American Idol - The TopTen Ladies

That's right, it's ladies night for the 70’s theme. I hope our top ten ladies make it funky.

Carly the Irish Smithson is first with Crazy by heart. Fucking dynamite. Maybe my favorite of the season so far. She says its her favorite songs ever, and she’d dreamed of singing it on Idol. Simon says no girl can touch her vocally and the one to beat, even tho she supposedly hasn’t connected with any songs yet.

Syesha Mercado the commercial actor does a scary crying baby impression before "Me and Mr Jones", a feminized version of Tom Jones' slow jam "Mrs. Jones". Simon says it was obviously not for a woman and "not a particularly clever choice”. Her acting skills apparently can't pull that one off. An elementary youtube search revealed Syesha's range. First is Syesha doing - what else but a Nigerian beer commercial.



and here she is doing a commercial for some medical training:





what a biotch.


But wait, there's more. I have major ethical problems with this...



Thats downright shady. Well I guess we know who the good folks at Ford and their thorough sponsorship of the show are backing.

Brooke White is up with some Carly Simon. She went to beauty school but quit and began singing. Armed only with an acoustic guitar, she puts on what is probably her best performance yet with "You're So Vain", but it seemed more like a Carly Simon impression than anything else. Still it was acceptable. Simon lllloved it. Of course they can't resist relating the song to Simon. OMG, Simon Cowell like can't get enough of himself.

Little Ramiele next, she does Polynesian and hula dancing, and she is adorable. She starts out slow but brings the disco. I like it, and it shows some style, but this was far from her best. The judges didn’t care for it, but recognize there is a lot of talent there.

Kristi Lee Cook is a farm girl who loves boy stuff. She sings “You’re No Good”, and although she has a great voice, she always looks uncomfortable up there, and all her movements still look forced. All the judges liked it, and think she should head down the Country Western path, as she’d have more success there. She has the name to be a country star, at least. "Kristi Lee Cook is openin’ up for Alabama at the State Fair!"-Bri

Amanda’s hair has never looked worse than tonight, and her voice has never sounded worse than on “Carry On My Wayward Son”. Yikes. Absolutely horrible. Randy spares any mention of the vocals and complains only of the song choice, and Paula does the same. Simon, however, doesn’t hold back and says the whole thing was a mess. He even admits the hair is absurd and hideous, in so many words. It looks like some king of Medusa skunk do.

Alaina picks “Hopelessly Devoted to You” from Grease. It’s pretty good, but not great. She has an excellent voice but nothing about her stands out from the crowd of blondes. Pageanty, and a Dark Horse, says Simon. She is still a potential finalist to me too if she can come up with a couple knockout performances.

Alexandrea has been singing at her dad’s Fire Department things for years, and was the poster child for the Atlanta FD. Awesome voice, but not a good song to showcase it, a sleepy, "don’t let our love slip away", suck song. “Don’t make safe choices” scolds Randy, but Paula was impressed. Simon thought it was boring. Then Alexandrea is pulling the "Vote for me, I'm the underdog and the media hates me" thing like you know who.

Kady loves to sing opera and decides to finish the show with more Heart. “Magic Man” starts out very rocky and continues as such. She did not make it work at all. Worst of the evening.

Asia’h is our final contestant of the night. She was a cheerleader, and she has spirit, yes she does. “All by Myself” is her choice, and it is one she will regret when she sees the tape. She completely missed one of the first insane notes. That’s too bad, but I bet she’ll still make the cut. Hey, wait, she’s sick? Ok, that’s a good excuse. Sure, I’ll take that.

Ok, so hopefully manana we’ll lose Kristi Lee Cook and Kady Malloy, but Amanda the nurse biker rocker may well go after her awful display tonight.