Syesha the scarf is in full effect as the Top Ten sing, in typically ultracheesy group sing-a-long fashion, "Get Right Back to Where We Started From". Michael Johns and David Archuleta slam dance for no apparent reason, I'm glad when that song is over.
Lots of people are into buying the contestants on i-tunes. Lots.
Chekesie is first in the bottom three. Curse his poor song choices!
A mercifully short Ford video, featuring Cheap Trick’s “I Want you to Want Me.” What a horrible band.
Syesha takes her place next to Chekesie, and she’s still all smiles. She’s thinking ahead to some cushy Colgate commercials.
Kimberly Locke is back, she took third place in season 2, and I just don't care.
American Idol really did give back with immunizations, literacy programs, disaster relief, food banks and education too. We are really making a difference here friends. Thanks for watching.
Jason Castro is the last in the bottom three. And seconds later Seacrest puts him at ease and sends him to the ultramodern couch of safety.
America voted.... and Syesha is safe. Chekesie goes home. That’s disappointing, but not a great shock. I get it America, keep KLC and "God Bless the U.S.A.", and send home the Nigerian dude with the Sept 11th birthday. Real classy. Chekesie looked promising a few weeks back but then made a couple of unacceptable song choices. Hopefully next week we'll lose someone who really deserves it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
American Idol - The Top Ten
Ok, so I have had my suspicions in recent episodes, but now I am totally convinced that they have a really obnoxious scream track they throw on when he crowd just isn't in enough of a frenzy.
Tonight's theme is songs from the year they were born.
Ramiele was born in Saudi Arabia in 1986. She liked to bite people until she picked up the microphone. She does Heart’s “Alone”, and while there is definitely the potential for a outstanding prformance, she didn't really gofor it like she needed to on a song like that. It's like she either aint got the chops, or she doesn’t have the guts. Wait-she’s a little bit sick, but Randy still doesn’t let her slide. Paula does, and Simon thought it was good enough to survive this week. That depends on how our other 9 do.
Jason Castro, 1987, it’s his birthday! He picks a Sting song that requires some Spanish. This guy can do no wrong. Simple and strong performance with the acoustic guitar again. He can afford to coast a little bit.
Syesha was born in 1987 as well, and has always liked to be in front of a camera. “If I was your Woman” is actually a surprisingly strong vocal, and Randy says it’s the best she’s ever sounded. I have to agree. Her most brilliant, says Paula, but Simon is not as impressed. She should be ok this week.
Chekesie was born in 1985, to Nigerian parents. “If only for one night” is an absolutely dreadful choice. Really slow and boring, but a solid vocal nonetheless. Chekesie can't afford too many more of these mistakes tho.
Brooke was born in 1983, and taught herself how to play piano. She missteps on the beginning of “Every Breath You Take”, the song Puff Daddy ruined, but quickly gets it together and pushes through. Well before Puffy it was a creepy stalker song, so I suppose it’s never been that great. Brooke does allright with it, but it was nothing special.
Michael Johns is a Libra born in 1978, just like me. Also, he planned on being a professional tennis player, just like me. John goes back to the Queen with “We Will Rock You”, and this time it is astounding. He fucking rocked that, and that will go down in Idol History. Judges give him his propers.
Carly was born in 1983, in Dublin, and was about the cutest little kid ever with huge red locks sprouting in all directions. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is another stellar performance form Carly, and she better go to the very end of this competition. Dynamite.
David Archuleta did Mariachi dancing with his sister. He was born in 1990 for Chrissakes. Speaking of Christ, suddenly we’re at a Kidz 4 Christ concert? What was that song? Paula says he could have sung the phone book and they would love it. Indeed, he has got a very important demographic locked up, but he can’t keep doing these lame songs or even they will desert him.
Kristi Lee Cook is still here? Great. Brianna thinks she looks like a beadey eyed Bush daughter, even before she starts singing “God Bless the U.S.A.”. This is without a doubt the most shameless display of patriotism I have ever seen on this particular television show. “Great song choice” Randy says. "Poignent and respectful" says Paula, and hopefully Simon is man enough not to fall for this brash flag waving. "Strongest performance yet...the most clever song choice in years!" Proclaims Uncle Simon. Unbelievable. Rupert Murdoch has gotten to Cowell.
David Cook was an alien conehead child, born in 1982. “Billie Jean” is his choice, ultra slowed down, I can see what he was going for but it didn’t go well. The scream track is in full effect, but that was a gamble he lost. The judges all thought it was spectacular, though. I must disagree.
So, in the bottom three we have Rameile, Chekesie, and Brooke. Archuleta’s laughable and Kristi Lee’s uber-patriotic performances notwithstanding.
Tonight's theme is songs from the year they were born.
Ramiele was born in Saudi Arabia in 1986. She liked to bite people until she picked up the microphone. She does Heart’s “Alone”, and while there is definitely the potential for a outstanding prformance, she didn't really gofor it like she needed to on a song like that. It's like she either aint got the chops, or she doesn’t have the guts. Wait-she’s a little bit sick, but Randy still doesn’t let her slide. Paula does, and Simon thought it was good enough to survive this week. That depends on how our other 9 do.
Jason Castro, 1987, it’s his birthday! He picks a Sting song that requires some Spanish. This guy can do no wrong. Simple and strong performance with the acoustic guitar again. He can afford to coast a little bit.
Syesha was born in 1987 as well, and has always liked to be in front of a camera. “If I was your Woman” is actually a surprisingly strong vocal, and Randy says it’s the best she’s ever sounded. I have to agree. Her most brilliant, says Paula, but Simon is not as impressed. She should be ok this week.
Chekesie was born in 1985, to Nigerian parents. “If only for one night” is an absolutely dreadful choice. Really slow and boring, but a solid vocal nonetheless. Chekesie can't afford too many more of these mistakes tho.
Brooke was born in 1983, and taught herself how to play piano. She missteps on the beginning of “Every Breath You Take”, the song Puff Daddy ruined, but quickly gets it together and pushes through. Well before Puffy it was a creepy stalker song, so I suppose it’s never been that great. Brooke does allright with it, but it was nothing special.
Michael Johns is a Libra born in 1978, just like me. Also, he planned on being a professional tennis player, just like me. John goes back to the Queen with “We Will Rock You”, and this time it is astounding. He fucking rocked that, and that will go down in Idol History. Judges give him his propers.
Carly was born in 1983, in Dublin, and was about the cutest little kid ever with huge red locks sprouting in all directions. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is another stellar performance form Carly, and she better go to the very end of this competition. Dynamite.
David Archuleta did Mariachi dancing with his sister. He was born in 1990 for Chrissakes. Speaking of Christ, suddenly we’re at a Kidz 4 Christ concert? What was that song? Paula says he could have sung the phone book and they would love it. Indeed, he has got a very important demographic locked up, but he can’t keep doing these lame songs or even they will desert him.
Kristi Lee Cook is still here? Great. Brianna thinks she looks like a beadey eyed Bush daughter, even before she starts singing “God Bless the U.S.A.”. This is without a doubt the most shameless display of patriotism I have ever seen on this particular television show. “Great song choice” Randy says. "Poignent and respectful" says Paula, and hopefully Simon is man enough not to fall for this brash flag waving. "Strongest performance yet...the most clever song choice in years!" Proclaims Uncle Simon. Unbelievable. Rupert Murdoch has gotten to Cowell.
David Cook was an alien conehead child, born in 1982. “Billie Jean” is his choice, ultra slowed down, I can see what he was going for but it didn’t go well. The scream track is in full effect, but that was a gamble he lost. The judges all thought it was spectacular, though. I must disagree.
So, in the bottom three we have Rameile, Chekesie, and Brooke. Archuleta’s laughable and Kristi Lee’s uber-patriotic performances notwithstanding.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
American Idol - The Top Twelve
A spectacular-rificly spooky slew of Dr. Suess whose whos greets us at the top of the show, and we learn that 29 million votes decided tonight’s outcome. Also, Jim Carrey is in the house in an elephant costume. What a zany guy.
There were so many calls and emails requesting it that next week they’ll be doing more! This truly is a democracy. Next is the always expertly choreographed medley, and I know for sure that they have an audience scream track that they kick on every now an then. M Johns has the coolest get up with a simple Music is my Religion statement. Jim Carey fucking loves it, and is stomping around like some kind of elephant.
Wooooohooooo! Syesha is in the bottom three!
And she has to sing right now? Just so she doesn’t have to sing after she knows she’s gone? Maybe they’re trying to be more humane about kicking people off.
Campaign themed ford videos with “Distance” .What a strange song for that.
Now a Horton Hears a Hoot promo. Jim Carey and Steve Carrell are even on hand. These guys are all Hortons.
KLC is on the mic, and in the bottom three. She has her gut feeling about who’s going home, but won’t actually say that she thinks she did way better than Syesha. The one problem with this whole bottom three people performing thing is that we have to listen to the worst three songs yet again. Or should I say, it sucks for those suckas who don't have DVR. “Was that any better than last night?” Seacrest asks Mr. Cowell? “No.”
Ok, now we have 12 year old Paige on the phone? Plus a 6 time auditioner wants to know what he has to do to make it? When are Simon and Seacrest gonna duke it out on stage? Do Brits or Americans have more talent? Wait a minute, this is just filler so they can make this an hour long. And now, Katherine McPhee is singing with a piano accompaniment. Again the first 10 rows or so are forced to throw their hands in muthafuckin air, and wave the muthafuckas like they just don’t care.
The third one in the bottom three is……David Hernandez.
Judges agree with America’s choice.
Syesha is safe. Rats.
So is Kristi.
“Wow” says David Hernandez, and his exit features a brand new Ruben Studdard track. Magnificent.
There were so many calls and emails requesting it that next week they’ll be doing more! This truly is a democracy. Next is the always expertly choreographed medley, and I know for sure that they have an audience scream track that they kick on every now an then. M Johns has the coolest get up with a simple Music is my Religion statement. Jim Carey fucking loves it, and is stomping around like some kind of elephant.
Wooooohooooo! Syesha is in the bottom three!
And she has to sing right now? Just so she doesn’t have to sing after she knows she’s gone? Maybe they’re trying to be more humane about kicking people off.
Campaign themed ford videos with “Distance” .What a strange song for that.
Now a Horton Hears a Hoot promo. Jim Carey and Steve Carrell are even on hand. These guys are all Hortons.
KLC is on the mic, and in the bottom three. She has her gut feeling about who’s going home, but won’t actually say that she thinks she did way better than Syesha. The one problem with this whole bottom three people performing thing is that we have to listen to the worst three songs yet again. Or should I say, it sucks for those suckas who don't have DVR. “Was that any better than last night?” Seacrest asks Mr. Cowell? “No.”
Ok, now we have 12 year old Paige on the phone? Plus a 6 time auditioner wants to know what he has to do to make it? When are Simon and Seacrest gonna duke it out on stage? Do Brits or Americans have more talent? Wait a minute, this is just filler so they can make this an hour long. And now, Katherine McPhee is singing with a piano accompaniment. Again the first 10 rows or so are forced to throw their hands in muthafuckin air, and wave the muthafuckas like they just don’t care.
The third one in the bottom three is……David Hernandez.
Judges agree with America’s choice.
Syesha is safe. Rats.
So is Kristi.
“Wow” says David Hernandez, and his exit features a brand new Ruben Studdard track. Magnificent.
American Idol - The Top Twelve
John Lennon and Paul McCartney have made some of the most recognizable, influential, and popular songs of all time, and tonight each finalist will perform a song written by them. This should give us some insight into each of these contestants' mental states.
Syesha Mercado is a college student as well as commercial actor. She’s gonna sing her heart out to “Got to Get You into My Life” I didn’t like it. “Allright” Randy settles on. Paula thinks she “found her zone” and sounded great, while Simon has the highest marks of all for Syesha. She is starting to get on my nerves. She's is just too much of an actress.
Chekesie was raised on Nigerian music, and felt people up at the airport as a security guard for a living. “She’s a Woman” is his choice, and he starts out sittin with a fiddler, a banjo player, and a tambourine smacker, then moves to center stage and proceeds to fucking tear that song up. A great show. "Chekesie smashed it!", says Randy, and I concur. Paula loved it and Simon can’t believe that he loved it too. Seacrest is way fired up! Whoa. Go Chekesie!
Ramiele works at a sushi place and smells like soy sauce. “In My Life” is dedicated to the contestants who could no longer be with us, because they went home She was really tight with Noriega, poor thing. Her sweet sentiment does not translate to a good performance, though, and here we have yet another snoozer from Ramiele, and that may not hold up in court. Judges call it safe, and Simon was bored to tears. Maybe Rameile just can't stand Idol w/o Noriega and is sabatoging herself.
Jason Castro goes to A&M and is a little uncomfortable with all the cameras, but the the cameras love him and his innocent boyish charm. He sings “If I Fell” with an acoustic guitar. Definitely not the best thing he’s ever done, but not too bad. “I feel your heart” says Paula Abdul. Of course you do.
Carly Smithson, the Irish Lass, came to the states a few years ago She tends bar and sings at teh same joint in San Diego.“Come Together” is part of her show every week and it sounds fantastic on this stage. Awesome. Judges all give it up. Best so far.
David Cook does Eleanor Rigby, and also bartends and performs in the same bar. His performance is very energetic and dark, a little edgy, but not really for me. The judges and audience are amazed, Simon saying David Cook could go all the way. Well, he definitely showed some skills and a side here that has not been revealed til now.
Brooke White moved to LA to be in the music biz, and sings “Let it Be” at the piano. When she starts it sounds like she might really nail it, but she never leaves the ground. She is in tears by the time Paula again can feel her heart, and Simon thinks it was great for the third week in a row. She has made some really smart choices.
David Hernandez is from the same Arizona town as Jordin Sparks, and he doesn’t miss his job at a pizza bistro. He doesn’t mention Dick’s Caberet. Does “When I Saw Her Standing There” like a high school musical. Randy says more aptly that he just plain old overdid it. Paula agrees, it was too much. “No no no, corny verging on desparate” and “Wasn’t cool”. Says Cowell. Word.
Amanda Overmeyer is next and she does “You Can’t Do That”. She sounds like a drunken Janis and Elvis mashed up into something you can barely understand. She’ll be gone real soon. Randy and Paula love it but Simon thinks last week was better.
Michael Johns is singing “Across the Universe”, one of the coolest Beatles songs ever, and does a pretty good job of it, but I was somehow expecting more. Still I think he’ll make it this week.
Kristi Lee Cook is from a very small town, and she’s hoping to successfully turn “8 Days a Week” into a country song. It’s way too fast! That was dumb. Usually I like just about anything twanged out, but not this at all.
Paula - “Kristi, I didn’t enjoy it.” That's when you know you failed.
David Archuleta is the last to go and is a little stressed to do “We Can Work it Out” . He fucks up bad right away, starting on the stairs, and seems to mess up on the words at least once more front and center. It’s pretty much a mess I’d say, but he could’ve done just about anything and he’d be fine after the two previous weeks performances. The judges can’t get down with that either, but know he aint going nowhere.
We’re down to two night s a week! Tomorrow is results already!
Bottom three has gotta be Syesha, Rameile, and Amanda or David H.
Syesha Mercado is a college student as well as commercial actor. She’s gonna sing her heart out to “Got to Get You into My Life” I didn’t like it. “Allright” Randy settles on. Paula thinks she “found her zone” and sounded great, while Simon has the highest marks of all for Syesha. She is starting to get on my nerves. She's is just too much of an actress.
Chekesie was raised on Nigerian music, and felt people up at the airport as a security guard for a living. “She’s a Woman” is his choice, and he starts out sittin with a fiddler, a banjo player, and a tambourine smacker, then moves to center stage and proceeds to fucking tear that song up. A great show. "Chekesie smashed it!", says Randy, and I concur. Paula loved it and Simon can’t believe that he loved it too. Seacrest is way fired up! Whoa. Go Chekesie!
Ramiele works at a sushi place and smells like soy sauce. “In My Life” is dedicated to the contestants who could no longer be with us, because they went home She was really tight with Noriega, poor thing. Her sweet sentiment does not translate to a good performance, though, and here we have yet another snoozer from Ramiele, and that may not hold up in court. Judges call it safe, and Simon was bored to tears. Maybe Rameile just can't stand Idol w/o Noriega and is sabatoging herself.
Jason Castro goes to A&M and is a little uncomfortable with all the cameras, but the the cameras love him and his innocent boyish charm. He sings “If I Fell” with an acoustic guitar. Definitely not the best thing he’s ever done, but not too bad. “I feel your heart” says Paula Abdul. Of course you do.
Carly Smithson, the Irish Lass, came to the states a few years ago She tends bar and sings at teh same joint in San Diego.“Come Together” is part of her show every week and it sounds fantastic on this stage. Awesome. Judges all give it up. Best so far.
David Cook does Eleanor Rigby, and also bartends and performs in the same bar. His performance is very energetic and dark, a little edgy, but not really for me. The judges and audience are amazed, Simon saying David Cook could go all the way. Well, he definitely showed some skills and a side here that has not been revealed til now.
Brooke White moved to LA to be in the music biz, and sings “Let it Be” at the piano. When she starts it sounds like she might really nail it, but she never leaves the ground. She is in tears by the time Paula again can feel her heart, and Simon thinks it was great for the third week in a row. She has made some really smart choices.
David Hernandez is from the same Arizona town as Jordin Sparks, and he doesn’t miss his job at a pizza bistro. He doesn’t mention Dick’s Caberet. Does “When I Saw Her Standing There” like a high school musical. Randy says more aptly that he just plain old overdid it. Paula agrees, it was too much. “No no no, corny verging on desparate” and “Wasn’t cool”. Says Cowell. Word.
Amanda Overmeyer is next and she does “You Can’t Do That”. She sounds like a drunken Janis and Elvis mashed up into something you can barely understand. She’ll be gone real soon. Randy and Paula love it but Simon thinks last week was better.
Michael Johns is singing “Across the Universe”, one of the coolest Beatles songs ever, and does a pretty good job of it, but I was somehow expecting more. Still I think he’ll make it this week.
Kristi Lee Cook is from a very small town, and she’s hoping to successfully turn “8 Days a Week” into a country song. It’s way too fast! That was dumb. Usually I like just about anything twanged out, but not this at all.
Paula - “Kristi, I didn’t enjoy it.” That's when you know you failed.
David Archuleta is the last to go and is a little stressed to do “We Can Work it Out” . He fucks up bad right away, starting on the stairs, and seems to mess up on the words at least once more front and center. It’s pretty much a mess I’d say, but he could’ve done just about anything and he’d be fine after the two previous weeks performances. The judges can’t get down with that either, but know he aint going nowhere.
We’re down to two night s a week! Tomorrow is results already!
Bottom three has gotta be Syesha, Rameile, and Amanda or David H.
Friday, March 7, 2008
American Idol - TGIT, or, Lets lose four more of these jokers
After tonight our Top Twelve will be in place, and then it's time to really get down to business. Four more people will leave the competition tonight, let's hope it's the right four.
Blake Lewis is in the house tonight, he was of course last years' runner up, and is back to promote his new material, which I am pretty indifferent to, and to offer some advice for this year's finalists. "Stay true to yourself" is all he's got.
We learn that Paula's new song is the number one video download on itunes. Sweet.
On to results. Kady Malloy is outta here. Excellent.
Dudes: Luke Menard is outta here! We are on the right track here folks.
*Correction: Luke Menard sang "Wake Me up before you Go Go", not "Jitterbug", as I previously stated. How could I have made that mistake? How could Luke have made that mistake? No matter, Luke's loss is our gain.
It's down to Kristi Lee Cook and Asia'h Efferson, and Asia'h is going home?! This is an outrage. KLC is F'N lucky.
Damn, now we lose either Chekesie or Noriega?! This aint right either. Wow.
Adios Danny Noriega.
That was disappointing, there are several people on that stage feeling like they just robbed someone, which they pretty much did. A very unlucky night for Asia'h and Danny.
Blake Lewis is in the house tonight, he was of course last years' runner up, and is back to promote his new material, which I am pretty indifferent to, and to offer some advice for this year's finalists. "Stay true to yourself" is all he's got.
We learn that Paula's new song is the number one video download on itunes. Sweet.
On to results. Kady Malloy is outta here. Excellent.
Dudes: Luke Menard is outta here! We are on the right track here folks.
*Correction: Luke Menard sang "Wake Me up before you Go Go", not "Jitterbug", as I previously stated. How could I have made that mistake? How could Luke have made that mistake? No matter, Luke's loss is our gain.
It's down to Kristi Lee Cook and Asia'h Efferson, and Asia'h is going home?! This is an outrage. KLC is F'N lucky.
Damn, now we lose either Chekesie or Noriega?! This aint right either. Wow.
Adios Danny Noriega.
That was disappointing, there are several people on that stage feeling like they just robbed someone, which they pretty much did. A very unlucky night for Asia'h and Danny.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
American Idol - The Top 8 Girls
Tonight the Top 8 Girls will have their last chance to get themselves into the finals, the the long awaited Top Twelve. They too will be doing songs from the 80's, let’s see if their choices are as cheesy and uninspired as the boys’.
Asia’h‘s most embarrassing moment had something to do with falling while roller skating and being a movie extra. That doesn’t sound too bad. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”, is the first Whitney of the night. She’s got the bouncy cheerleader whitney houston thing going, presumably without the narcotics, and does pretty good, I guess, if you’re into that kind of thing. Randy recorded the song w Whitney and Paula loves it. Simon thinks she’ll sail into the top 12. I concur.
Kady is next, and she thought she was going home “for sure” last week. Me too, god damnit. Tonight she’s back to perform “Who Wants to Live Forever?”, a Queen song. I am not familiar with the original, but I can only guess that Queen fans would not approve of this version. Man she is bad singer. Randy goes with his standard ”Hahuhuha.....It ....was...pretty good...”. Right Randy, except that she totally butchered it. Paula thinks it was her best performance yet, and Simon cites a massive lack of personality and robot like. Kady does a feeble robot dance with an uncomfortable smile. Simon - “You may be in trouble.” Kady - "Mmm-kay.". She is definitely in trouble.
Amanda Overmyer burned down her family’s pool somehow and sings Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You”, about as well as you'd hear someone sing it in a karaoke contest. Her singing is not keeping up with the beat and she looks like her puppy just got hit by a car or something.I thought it was horrible. Paula -“You’re face is beautiful, l like your hair” WTF? Paula is clearly looped up on something. Simon – "Fantastic" Perhaps they are all on drogas.
Carly has the coolest choice of the night by miles. Roy Orbison penned it, Cyndi Lauper made it famous, Celine Dion took it down a notch or three, and Carly Irish fucking rocked it tonight. "I Drove All Night" is an incredibly cool song, and the fact that she picked it has solidified her spot as my favorite among the females. That was amazing, the most risk and talent showed tonight. There "Aren't enough adjectives" (to describe how great that was), says Paula, "Not a great song..." says Simon Cowell, once again displaying a general lack of appreciation for vast amounts of American music.
Kristi Lee Cook went around barking at people like a dog for about a year, and does “Faithfully” by Journey. Randy and Paula want to see in on the country charts, and Simon guesses she’ll come in 10th. I hope she comes in either 13th, 14th, 15th, or 16th.
Rameile must really be after a career on Lite FM, because she keeps on picking these boring old sad love songs. She has to do, and can do, way better than that. “You have such a beautiful face...colors...muts...you deserve to be in the top twelve” Paula rambles on for a while about I don't know what.
Brooke White the Carly Simon of the modern age is last with “Love is a Battlefield”. Perched on the side of the stage accompanied only by an acoustic guitar, she actually does a really good job with this slower version, and she pulls it off. That was one of the smartest choices tonight.
Syesha had a crush on a boy once and he told the teacher on him. “Saving All My Love for You” rounds out this WLTE commercial of a show. Judges say it was “Good.” And no more. It was lame, and she will be on the way out soon if she doesn't pick up the pace already.
Adios to Kady, and or Amanda and or Kristi Lee Cook, por favor.
Asia’h‘s most embarrassing moment had something to do with falling while roller skating and being a movie extra. That doesn’t sound too bad. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”, is the first Whitney of the night. She’s got the bouncy cheerleader whitney houston thing going, presumably without the narcotics, and does pretty good, I guess, if you’re into that kind of thing. Randy recorded the song w Whitney and Paula loves it. Simon thinks she’ll sail into the top 12. I concur.
Kady is next, and she thought she was going home “for sure” last week. Me too, god damnit. Tonight she’s back to perform “Who Wants to Live Forever?”, a Queen song. I am not familiar with the original, but I can only guess that Queen fans would not approve of this version. Man she is bad singer. Randy goes with his standard ”Hahuhuha.....It ....was...pretty good...”. Right Randy, except that she totally butchered it. Paula thinks it was her best performance yet, and Simon cites a massive lack of personality and robot like. Kady does a feeble robot dance with an uncomfortable smile. Simon - “You may be in trouble.” Kady - "Mmm-kay.". She is definitely in trouble.
Amanda Overmyer burned down her family’s pool somehow and sings Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You”, about as well as you'd hear someone sing it in a karaoke contest. Her singing is not keeping up with the beat and she looks like her puppy just got hit by a car or something.I thought it was horrible. Paula -“You’re face is beautiful, l like your hair” WTF? Paula is clearly looped up on something. Simon – "Fantastic" Perhaps they are all on drogas.
Carly has the coolest choice of the night by miles. Roy Orbison penned it, Cyndi Lauper made it famous, Celine Dion took it down a notch or three, and Carly Irish fucking rocked it tonight. "I Drove All Night" is an incredibly cool song, and the fact that she picked it has solidified her spot as my favorite among the females. That was amazing, the most risk and talent showed tonight. There "Aren't enough adjectives" (to describe how great that was), says Paula, "Not a great song..." says Simon Cowell, once again displaying a general lack of appreciation for vast amounts of American music.
Kristi Lee Cook went around barking at people like a dog for about a year, and does “Faithfully” by Journey. Randy and Paula want to see in on the country charts, and Simon guesses she’ll come in 10th. I hope she comes in either 13th, 14th, 15th, or 16th.
Rameile must really be after a career on Lite FM, because she keeps on picking these boring old sad love songs. She has to do, and can do, way better than that. “You have such a beautiful face...colors...muts...you deserve to be in the top twelve” Paula rambles on for a while about I don't know what.
Brooke White the Carly Simon of the modern age is last with “Love is a Battlefield”. Perched on the side of the stage accompanied only by an acoustic guitar, she actually does a really good job with this slower version, and she pulls it off. That was one of the smartest choices tonight.
Syesha had a crush on a boy once and he told the teacher on him. “Saving All My Love for You” rounds out this WLTE commercial of a show. Judges say it was “Good.” And no more. It was lame, and she will be on the way out soon if she doesn't pick up the pace already.
Adios to Kady, and or Amanda and or Kristi Lee Cook, por favor.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
American Idol - The Top 8 Guys
Tonight 80’s night for the guys, and there is plenty of options for ghastly song choices, which this bunch has been prone to so far in this competition.
Also tonight, the candidates reveal embarrassing moments. these are always so stupid.
Luke Menard's sister dressed him up like a little girl when he was a child, and tonight he sings Jitterbug. Is there a connection? What a hilariously stupid choice. I mean, seriously? Wham is not a good choice for anyone who'd prefer to appear 'with it' or 'straight'. This guy is so fucking lame. That may be his last chance to sing Wham in front of tens of millions of people ever.
Randy says it was rushed, surprising, corny choice. Paula loved it, she of course choregraphed George Michael's tour, and Simon made my night already by saying there's no chance he's advancing to the final 12, and that it was girly. Perhaps Menard should have opted for the more masculine, tough as leather jacket George Michael style.
David Archuleta is already some kind of fundraiser singer, and, based on his choice of "Another Day in Paradise", he is going to be an advocate for the homeless as American Idol. This is one of many songs Phil Collins songs that spooked me just a little as my Mom listened to KS95 when I was in my early youth. He starts at the piano (he plays piano, what can''t this kid do?) but gets up after the first verse, and while its nowhere near as good as "Imagine" from last week, but still very good. Randy is generally non-committal, calling it "Nice". Paula's grip on reality is already slipping, and she is glad he isn’t a make believe person or a hologram, which his flawed performance showed. Simon thinks its getting gloomy, with all these sad songs. But he says a moment later that he’ll probably make the final two so. Simon just wants happy songs that will sell millions of records to tweenieboppers, not biting social commentary from the likes of Phil Collins.
Danny Noriega is next, complete with streaks of purple hair. and he is TMTH with “Tainted Love”. This is a little too burlesque for most Americans, I would think. Judges are split. That was one of his worst performances to date.
David Hernandez is next, and his antedote about boogers isn’t making him any more likable. And that is more embarrassing than stripping your way through singing school? I just read that he was a stripper in a mostly male clientele joint called Dick's Caberet in Phoenix. For Three Years. Now he's moved on to singing Celine Dion. “It’s all Coming Back To Me” doesn’t sound bad, necessarily, but it doesn't sound quite right either. He would be excellent in some kind of Disney singing role. Simon thinks we’ll see him next week but I hope not.
Michael Johns did mascot work in Australia, and once got beat up in a Kangaroo costume. “Don’t You Forget About Me”. A lot more energy and showmanship than anyone else so far, but it wasn’t fantastic. The judges love it. Actually Simon liked it but didn’t love it. He is such a smart man.
David muthafuckin Cook is gonna rock the electric guitar again, as he sings “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie. The judges all love it, think it could be a modern emo hit, but I think it's about ime for him to go as well.
Jason Castro goes for Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, and I don’t think I could be more impressed. I really dig that song, and he did it well. Randy and Paula love it as well, and Simon actually uses the words “Absolutely brilliant”. Best tonight, no question.
Chekesie – used to cry himself to sleep at night. Oh wait that’s just the song. “All the Woman That I Need”. I think he has as much personality as anyone among the guys and I am surprised to find Chekesie among my favorite dudes these days. Paula is excited about Chekesie and all the guys, but it wasn’t Simon’s cup of tea. Chekesie should be around for a while.
So, Luke Menard, David Cook, and David Hernandez are all looking mighty vulnerable., and I will not be sad to see any of them out.
Also tonight, the candidates reveal embarrassing moments. these are always so stupid.
Luke Menard's sister dressed him up like a little girl when he was a child, and tonight he sings Jitterbug. Is there a connection? What a hilariously stupid choice. I mean, seriously? Wham is not a good choice for anyone who'd prefer to appear 'with it' or 'straight'. This guy is so fucking lame. That may be his last chance to sing Wham in front of tens of millions of people ever.
Randy says it was rushed, surprising, corny choice. Paula loved it, she of course choregraphed George Michael's tour, and Simon made my night already by saying there's no chance he's advancing to the final 12, and that it was girly. Perhaps Menard should have opted for the more masculine, tough as leather jacket George Michael style.
David Archuleta is already some kind of fundraiser singer, and, based on his choice of "Another Day in Paradise", he is going to be an advocate for the homeless as American Idol. This is one of many songs Phil Collins songs that spooked me just a little as my Mom listened to KS95 when I was in my early youth. He starts at the piano (he plays piano, what can''t this kid do?) but gets up after the first verse, and while its nowhere near as good as "Imagine" from last week, but still very good. Randy is generally non-committal, calling it "Nice". Paula's grip on reality is already slipping, and she is glad he isn’t a make believe person or a hologram, which his flawed performance showed. Simon thinks its getting gloomy, with all these sad songs. But he says a moment later that he’ll probably make the final two so. Simon just wants happy songs that will sell millions of records to tweenieboppers, not biting social commentary from the likes of Phil Collins.
Danny Noriega is next, complete with streaks of purple hair. and he is TMTH with “Tainted Love”. This is a little too burlesque for most Americans, I would think. Judges are split. That was one of his worst performances to date.
David Hernandez is next, and his antedote about boogers isn’t making him any more likable. And that is more embarrassing than stripping your way through singing school? I just read that he was a stripper in a mostly male clientele joint called Dick's Caberet in Phoenix. For Three Years. Now he's moved on to singing Celine Dion. “It’s all Coming Back To Me” doesn’t sound bad, necessarily, but it doesn't sound quite right either. He would be excellent in some kind of Disney singing role. Simon thinks we’ll see him next week but I hope not.
Michael Johns did mascot work in Australia, and once got beat up in a Kangaroo costume. “Don’t You Forget About Me”. A lot more energy and showmanship than anyone else so far, but it wasn’t fantastic. The judges love it. Actually Simon liked it but didn’t love it. He is such a smart man.
David muthafuckin Cook is gonna rock the electric guitar again, as he sings “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie. The judges all love it, think it could be a modern emo hit, but I think it's about ime for him to go as well.
Jason Castro goes for Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, and I don’t think I could be more impressed. I really dig that song, and he did it well. Randy and Paula love it as well, and Simon actually uses the words “Absolutely brilliant”. Best tonight, no question.
Chekesie – used to cry himself to sleep at night. Oh wait that’s just the song. “All the Woman That I Need”. I think he has as much personality as anyone among the guys and I am surprised to find Chekesie among my favorite dudes these days. Paula is excited about Chekesie and all the guys, but it wasn’t Simon’s cup of tea. Chekesie should be around for a while.
So, Luke Menard, David Cook, and David Hernandez are all looking mighty vulnerable., and I will not be sad to see any of them out.
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