Wednesday, March 5, 2008

American Idol - The Top 8 Guys

Tonight 80’s night for the guys, and there is plenty of options for ghastly song choices, which this bunch has been prone to so far in this competition.

Also tonight, the candidates reveal embarrassing moments. these are always so stupid.

Luke Menard's sister dressed him up like a little girl when he was a child, and tonight he sings Jitterbug. Is there a connection? What a hilariously stupid choice. I mean, seriously? Wham is not a good choice for anyone who'd prefer to appear 'with it' or 'straight'. This guy is so fucking lame. That may be his last chance to sing Wham in front of tens of millions of people ever.
Randy says it was rushed, surprising, corny choice. Paula loved it, she of course choregraphed George Michael's tour, and Simon made my night already by saying there's no chance he's advancing to the final 12, and that it was girly. Perhaps Menard should have opted for the more masculine, tough as leather jacket George Michael style.

David Archuleta is already some kind of fundraiser singer, and, based on his choice of "Another Day in Paradise", he is going to be an advocate for the homeless as American Idol. This is one of many songs Phil Collins songs that spooked me just a little as my Mom listened to KS95 when I was in my early youth. He starts at the piano (he plays piano, what can''t this kid do?) but gets up after the first verse, and while its nowhere near as good as "Imagine" from last week, but still very good. Randy is generally non-committal, calling it "Nice". Paula's grip on reality is already slipping, and she is glad he isn’t a make believe person or a hologram, which his flawed performance showed. Simon thinks its getting gloomy, with all these sad songs. But he says a moment later that he’ll probably make the final two so. Simon just wants happy songs that will sell millions of records to tweenieboppers, not biting social commentary from the likes of Phil Collins.

Danny Noriega is next, complete with streaks of purple hair. and he is TMTH with “Tainted Love”. This is a little too burlesque for most Americans, I would think. Judges are split. That was one of his worst performances to date.

David Hernandez is next, and his antedote about boogers isn’t making him any more likable. And that is more embarrassing than stripping your way through singing school? I just read that he was a stripper in a mostly male clientele joint called Dick's Caberet in Phoenix. For Three Years. Now he's moved on to singing Celine Dion. “It’s all Coming Back To Me” doesn’t sound bad, necessarily, but it doesn't sound quite right either. He would be excellent in some kind of Disney singing role. Simon thinks we’ll see him next week but I hope not.

Michael Johns did mascot work in Australia, and once got beat up in a Kangaroo costume. “Don’t You Forget About Me”. A lot more energy and showmanship than anyone else so far, but it wasn’t fantastic. The judges love it. Actually Simon liked it but didn’t love it. He is such a smart man.

David muthafuckin Cook is gonna rock the electric guitar again, as he sings “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie. The judges all love it, think it could be a modern emo hit, but I think it's about ime for him to go as well.

Jason Castro goes for Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, and I don’t think I could be more impressed. I really dig that song, and he did it well. Randy and Paula love it as well, and Simon actually uses the words “Absolutely brilliant”. Best tonight, no question.

Chekesie – used to cry himself to sleep at night. Oh wait that’s just the song. “All the Woman That I Need”. I think he has as much personality as anyone among the guys and I am surprised to find Chekesie among my favorite dudes these days. Paula is excited about Chekesie and all the guys, but it wasn’t Simon’s cup of tea. Chekesie should be around for a while.

So, Luke Menard, David Cook, and David Hernandez are all looking mighty vulnerable., and I will not be sad to see any of them out.

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