American Idol - Results 4/23

Results night and we begin with what I am assuming is some kind of Andrew Lloyd Weber medley. It’s absolutely meaningless to me. A Lloyd looks proud as he could be at the piano while our 6 finalists prance around in simple choreographed fashion.

Seacrest and Weber sit down and chat about performing live and Weber is pretty forgiving when asked about Brooke’s mistake last night. He seems like a nice fella. Funny lookin, but nice. Asked about Jason Castro’s performance, he says it was “The most curious song choice I’ve heard in my career”. Indeed Castro's bizarre choice could spell trouble for him.

Tonight's Ford commercial has "Tainted Love" and everyone looking graphic novel tough and cartoons mixed with real live action. Man they just keep getting stranger.

Then G.W. Bush and Laura Bush congratulate the American people for donating $65 million in the Idol Gives Back campaign. That makes me so fucking mad. How many millions in tax cuts did you give to your buddies and take away from poor African children? American children? How many millions of dollars have you put us in debt to fund your imperialism? And so on. “Thank you for your compassion” he says. Fuck you.

And after much ado, David and David are both safe.

Next we check in with Tamyra Gray and Clay Aikin, both of whom are doing quite well on Broadway.

Also on the program, Leona Lewis is like the biggest thing ever, and she is Simon's little darling. He discovered her and made her a star or some such nonsense. Here she is, singing her hit “Bleeding Love” and I don't really care for it.

Syesha and Brooke are up, and Brooke is safe. Syesha is half of the bottom two.

Jason Castro and Carly Smithson are all that’s left, and Jason is safe. Bullshit.

Carly cannot go home. No way. No way no way. Damn.

Now Carly has to sing this upbeat song to the Christ. Again, I thought it was dynamite. She's got more going for her than anyone else I think.

Syesha takes this opportunity to ham it up again, to the delight of her high school drama teacher.

Finally, results: 38 million votes and America is sending Carly home. What a bunch of goddamn horseshit. Bastards. She leaves us a class act, happy to have come this far, and I bet we have not heard the last of her. Still, what a drag.

Well, last week was a dream come true, the KLC leaving part anyway, not the Mariah Carey, and this week was a nightmare. I guess that’s not too surprising, what with the economy the way it is and all. Next week is Neil Diamond, and that should be downright awesome.