American Idol - The Top 8 Results

Despite the good will towards mankind displayed last night, one of our Top 8 will be leaving tonight. Before we learn the results we are treated to another round of "Shout to the Lord" that the Idols performed last night as well and apparently sold a lot of downloads on itunes. On to business.

Brooke White is safe.

David Cook is safe.

Archuleta is safe.

Lots of African children are a little bit better off because off all those millions donated last night.

Jordin Sparks is a terrible lip syncher, and has a pretty lame song, I hate to say. But she looks terrific, and after her and Chris Brown faux paw a t eachother for awhile, Jordin is presented with 3 plaques honoring the million plus records she’s sold. I guess she’s doing allright.

Top 8 Ford video with " I Just Want to Celebrate". Actually a remarkably tolerable one, what with all the colors and all.

Castro is safe.

Kristi Lee Cook is safe.

Wow. The bottom three is Syesha, Carly and Michael Johns!



Scandal! This is an outrage. Carly and Michael are probably my two favorites! !!!!?!?!?!?!!? Damnit.

Bono and Hilary Clinton make impassioned appeals for cash, and McCain makes a terrible joke about Florida and Michigan’s votes counting. Yeah, you’d like their votes to count so you could run against Hilary, wouldn’t you Johnny Boy? Too bad.

Barack believes deeply in people coming together and doing good, in order to make this a more just, equal and hopeful world. Best of the night by far.

Syesha and Carly are safe, and the unthinkable has happened.

Seacrest brutally strings poor Michael along as he recounts how last year, no one was sent home during Idol Gives Back week, and this year...we say goodbye. I wish he would have punched Ryan Seacrest right in his mean mouth. What a load of shit. Michael Johns is eliminated. This country sucks.