Wednesday, April 30, 2008

American Idol - The Top Five and Neil Diamond

Only five Idols left, and tonight Neil muthafuckin Diamond is in the house. Each contestant is going to do two Neil Diamond songs and judges will have their say after the second songs. The guy's got 27 studio albums and has been around for a very long time, let's see how he handles this bunch.


Castro is first with "Forever in blue Jeans", and Mr. Diamond thinks he’ll do very well. I am not so convinced. This is about as horrible a performance as Castro has put in all season. Really dreary and uninspired.

David Cook gave Neil goosebumps with his interpretation of "I'm Alive", and Neil thinks he's just great. Cook’s first number is his biggest miss in probably months. The guy has been on an upward climb for a long time, but I didn’t think that was up to par. Still he showed some of the personality he has that some seem to like so much.

Brooke is going to play im a believer with guitar, and it sounds like a shrek burger king commercial with a scared looking glitterface singing. She looked frightened, of how bad she was doing perhaps, and I bet she is glad judgment is being withheld for now.

Archuleta does "Sweet Caroline", How much you wanna bet Simon is thinking this is like a wedding singer? This guy has got to go. They should have automatically disqualified whoever chose this song.

Syesha is doing "Hello Again" and when she's done Neil Diamond asks her for a hug. Then we are subjected to a barefoot sleepy old love song.

When the Top Five all gather on stage, I am left a little disappointed. No Carly, no Michael, and I realize that I suppose I am rooting for David Cook more than anyone else. At least he is interesting and unique. Then Paula starts talking about Jason’s second song, which has not happened yet, and Simon flies through a vicious round of criticism.

"September Moon" is Castro's second pick, and I am forced to wonder if he is trying to get booted from the show. His performances have been so lackluster and boring lately, it is a wonder he is still here at all. Randy says it was ok, Paula says it was safe, and Simon thinks this is not the Jason we put in this competition.
David Cook's second number, another unknown Neil Diamond song, sounds more like a Creed song, but the judges still love it. Paula says she already feels like she's looking at the next American idol, and Simon thought it was brilliant. I guess he really is the one to beat.

Brooke White does "I am I said", and her switching the words to accomodate Arizona was outstanding. Not. Yeah, Neil Diamond told you to do it, but it's still dumb. Of course Randy and Paula thought the song was great and Simon thinks as well that this is the Brooke we like, sitting behind the piano and all. That's the Brooke I would like to see go home.

Archuleta is up with an 'I just broke out of prison black and white striped t-shirt and "Coming to America", that was a solid performance if you are at your local bowling alley doing karaoke on Tuesday night, but unfit for this level of competition. let freedom ring, he belts out at the end, is that even part of the song? Judges love it, and Simon calls it a smart song, presumably in the same way that singing God Bless America was a smart choice for Kristi Lee Cook.

Syesha is going to finish the show with "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime". A jazz cabaret type song and its surprisingly bearable. Of course it had Syesha's characteristic musical feel to it, which Randy mentions, saying it could be on Broadway, and Paula loves the texture and compares her to Corrine Baily Ray. Simon thinks Syesha is a good actress/singer and she may be in trouble tonight. Syesha looks embarrassed and asks “Why” like a scared puppy. She sure is a fine actor at least. Because you suck sweetheart, and you are still smiling after Simon told you youre toast.

If we are lucky, Jason and Syesha will be in the bottom two, maybe even Brooke.

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